At times the days seemed endless, and the struggles were always persistent. Each morning I would wake up, hop in the shower, and want to stay there. The shower became my prayer closet. No one bothered me when I was getting ready in the morning, provided I got ready before everyone was up. As I approached the bedroom door, I said a quick prayer that God would shine through me no matter what I had to face on the other side of that door. I never knew what the day would hold. I took a deep breath and opened the door to go get the kids up.
If we made it through the day without a major meltdown, it was a good day, busy and exhausting, but good. Typically, our days contained at least one meltdown, some days more. The meltdowns were exhausting to both my child and me and could last for hours. Could the meltdowns be avoided? Sometimes yes, but mostly no.
Raising a child or two or more who have experienced trauma or have been the unlucky recipient of alcohol in the womb, is exhausting. It is a full-time commitment to navigating the behaviors and teaching healthy responses to unhealthy emotions. It is being alert 24 hours a day to help avoid the crisis and teach your child how to regulate emotions in a healthy manner. It is being yelled at and called horrible names. It is setting boundaries for yourself, your child, and well-meaning family and friends. It is remembering that God’s got this.
Through it all God is faithful. He promises never to leave us or forsake us.
Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (NIV)
For the adoptive mom who is struggling to pray, struggling to survive the days of constant upheaval and drama, STAND on God’s promises and give yourself grace during these long and difficult days.
God gives us the tools we need to raise our children to love and serve Him, even with all of the drama.
The most important tool is His word. Claim His promises!
Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (NLT)
Psalm 10:17-18 “You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted; You encourage them, and You listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed.” (NIV)
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 “May our LORD Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in good deed and word.” (NIV)
Proverbs 12:25 “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.” (NLT)
1 Thessalonians 5:24 “The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” (NIV)
Essential oils – God’s gift from the earth
As my children grew and we dealt with the physical and emotional health issues that presented, I found myself looking for more natural ways to deal with the issues.
Funny thing, when you are asking God for guidance every day, He provides it!
God brought to our lives the gift of essential oils. I was a little skeptical at first, but I was desperate to find something to help support healthy emotions. From the very first time that I used my very first oil, I was completely amazed. How is it possible that these little drops of oil that smell wonderful (well, most of them) can have such a major effect on our health and home?
Essential oils are the natural and aromatic compounds of the plant. The oil is extracted and distilled and used to support the body physically and emotionally. Essential oils can be used topically, aromatically, or internally. (Be sure the brand you are using supports internal use. Not all oils are created equal. I use this brand.) For best results be sure to choose a brand that is completely pure and free of everything. Take the time to educate yourself on how to use essential oils and what oils you need for the particular situation you want to change. Subscribe to my newsletter for more tips on using essential oils.
I have had the blessing of watching God use these essential oils to bring support to my children’s emotions and mine, too. God provides healing using some of the simplest things. You can learn more about essential oils and FASD with my FREE GUIDE.
Have you considered how blessed we are to receive the littlest blessings? They are everywhere!
When all else fails eat chocolate!
Not just any chocolate! Sometimes all it takes is a handful of dark chocolate chips to give yourself a few minutes of self-care. Why dark chocolate? It doesn’t have a lot of sugar and sugar can be a trigger for the emotions we want to balance.
Jesus, oils, and chocolate! A great combination for any day!
Hold on to hope, Adoptive Mom, God’s got this! You are in great hands!
For more adoptive mom support, consider joining my Chaos 2 Calm group coaching for adoptive moms. CHECK IT OUT HERE!